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约翰·派博 ▍给单身基督徒面对性试探10大“兵器”

2015-06-15 建造幸福家庭


我有十句箴言要送给面对性欲的未婚人士。其中大部分是针对男性的,因为我知道男性比女性更直接面对这诱惑。这十句箴言包括“当行和不当行”两方面;但它们都旨在积极地帮助保守你的心,顺服上帝,而不是犯罪。


1不可经常通过手淫寻求性满足


手淫是指刺激性器官获得性高潮。手淫并不能长期解决性压力,反而会导致不良的习惯、产生内疚感,它同上帝创造的性相矛盾。上帝赋予的身体和欲望是为了夫妻间的性联合,手淫同这个创造相矛盾。但是可能最糟糕的是:手淫不可避免地让我们的头脑产生脱离现实的性幻想。我们将变得像法利赛人一样:外表冠冕堂皇,但是内在肮脏无比。


2与不可通过触摸或被他人触摸来获取性满足,即便你在性行为发生之前就停止。

大家都明白亲密的抚摸是性行为的前奏和准备,因此它也只能属于它该属于的地方,即婚姻。如果没有标志出婚姻关系的永恒承诺时,爱抚就成为同他人之间的手淫;为了个人的身体刺激,别人的身体成为了手淫的器具。


上帝以特殊的方式创造了我们,除非有忠心的承诺,我们不可能通过身体的触摸来表达个人的和心灵之爱。我们心中那时不言而喻的想法是:你可以抚摸我,因为你已经答应永远不离弃我;你可以拥有我,因为你就是我。我们是这样被造的,所以当我们把最珍贵的礼物给予别人时,我们渴望永恒的关系,而这些都是属于婚姻关系中的。

3避免不必要的性刺激


你不需要多想就能明白,城市里面有很多X级别的电影院和成人书店可以让一个人整天处在亢奋中。这些肮脏的地方是很大的诱惑。但是真正的考验是越来越多含有性暗示的信息正在通过正规途径逼近你--限制级电影、时髦杂志、报纸、电视、药店里的小册子、摇滚音乐歌词。


性刺激充斥了现今的社会,但是我们可以拒绝寻求它们。很多时候,当我们见到这些刺激时,我们可以避开它们。这可以很好地检测我们是受捆绑的还是自由的--我们是否可以对身体里面奴役我们,使我们继续观看色情图片或是沉浸在淫念中的力量说“不”呢?


4当刺激来临、欲望高涨时,请自觉地转向基督。

真盼望你能早些明白这个道理。驾车时,如果路边有些广告招牌或大门前的广告让你想入非非,你就对这个欲望宣告:“耶稣,你是我的主我的神,我最大的愿望是认识你、爱你和顺服你,因此这个欲望也是属于你的。我把这个欲望从你的竞争者手中夺过,净化它,转交于你。谢谢你把我从罪的捆绑中释放出来。”如果我们真的盼望蒙上帝悦纳,掌管我们的上帝就会帮助我们,将欲望的对像改变过来,这种改变是非常明显的。

5请你祈求上帝给予你持续增长的力量,可以超越其他一切事物,不断追求去认识他、爱他和顺服他。


一篇名为《新的渴望,爆炸性的力量》的讲道里谈到,最好的克服不良欲望的方法就是获得一个新的渴望。借着祷告我们可以呼求上帝神圣的帮助,使我们对神产生新的渴望。


6借着上帝的话语洗净我们的头脑

《约翰福音》17:17耶稣祷告说,“求你用真理使他们成圣,你的道就是真理”。没有什么比定期默想上帝话语对更新我们的思想并让我们按圣经的教导评价事物更有效了。《以弗所书》6:17没有用圣灵的宝剑武装自己的人会因为他或她的肉体而输掉战争。

7让自己忙碌起来,当有时间放松和娱乐时,选择清洁的、可爱的、有美名的、可敬的、可称赞的事(腓4:8),无所事事会带来很多麻烦。


当我们忙于有意义的事务时,性诱惑很难在我们身上占得一席之地。如果你需要呼吸一些新鲜空气,请到公园里去走走,而不是去一些诱惑你的地方。


8不要太长时间独处,经常同其他的基督徒在一起。

不可停止聚会,要彼此相顾,激发爱心,勉励行善。同可信任的朋友交流你的挣扎,彼此代祷,彼此相顾。

9常常为他人的永生考虑,特别是异性。


如果我们想到别人可能会很快因为不信而在地狱里受永恒的折磨,那么我们就不容易对一个人产生幻想;如果知道一个人会在基督里成为我们永远的姐妹或弟兄,那么我们也就不容易对他(她)有一些赤裸裸的想象。


保罗在《哥林多后书》5章16节说,“所以,我们从今以后,不凭着外貌认人了,虽然凭着外貌认过基督,如今却不再这样认他了。”我们应从神永生的角度看待每一个人。


10我们应决心先求神的国和神的义,其它的一切都要加给我们,包括我们的性需求。

或许你将有一个配偶,或许因上帝的恩典和自由,你将清心地满足与单身,这取决于上帝。我们的责任是追求他的国度,或者换一个角度说:我们身体的所有激情都要用来荣耀上帝,这必须保守自己不被喜乐之外的任何东西掌控,单单做上帝的仆人。


英文原文

Ten Words of Counsel for SinglePeople

By John Piper


I have ten words of counsel for personswho are not married but who have to deal with sexual desires. Some of thesehave a masculine orientation because I know the male temptation firsthand butnot the female. Some are dos and some are don'ts, but all aim to be positive inthat they are intended to help you preserve your freedom from any enslavementbut God's.


【1】do not seek regular sexualgratification through masturbation.

that is, the stimulation of your own selfto sexual orgasm or climax. Masturbation does not solve sexual pressure forvery long, it tends to become habitual, it produces guilt, and it contradictsthe God-given design of sexuality. Our bodies and desires were designed for thesexual union of persons, and masturbation contradicts that design. But perhapsworst of all, masturbation is inevitably accompanied and enabled by sexualfantasies in the mind which we would not allow ourselves in reality and so webecome like the Pharisees: well scrubbed on the outside, but inside full ofperversions.


【2】do not seek sexual satisfactionthrough touching or being touched by another person.

even if you stop short ofsexual intercourse. Everyone knows that intimate touching is the prelude andpreparation for sexual intercourse, and therefore it belongs where that eventbelongs, namely, in marriage. Where the permanent commitment that characterizesmarriage is missing, caressing becomes depersonalized manipulation; it turnsthe other's body into a masturbation device to get a private physical thrill.God made us in such a way that if we try to turn that moment of touching into apersonal, spiritual expression of love, we are not able to do it without makingpromises of faithfulness. Implicit in our hearts at that moment is thestatement: You may touch me because you have promised never to leave me norforsake me. You may have me because you are me. We are so made that we cry outfor permanence when giving away our most intimate gifts. They belong inmarriage.


【3】 avoid unnecessary sexualstimulation.

It doesn't take any brains to know that there are enough X-ratedmovie houses and adult bookstores in this city to keep a person livid 24 hoursa day. To visit these crummy places is temptation enough. But the real test iswhat you do with the more legitimate sources of sexual stimulation. PG movies,Time magazine, the newspaper, television, drugstore magazine racks, rock musiclyrics. In our society you cannot escape sexual stimulation, but you can refuseto seek it. And you can avoid it often when you see it coming. This is thegreat test of whether we are enslaved or free—can we say no to theslave driver in our bodies who wants us to keep on looking and keep on lusting.


【4】 when the stimulation comes andthe desire starts to rise, perform a very conscious act of transfer ontoChrist.

I wish I had learned this much earlier in my life. While riding downthe road, if some billboard or marquee puts a desire into my mind for someillegitimate sexual pleasure, I take that desire and say, "Jesus, you aremy Lord and my God, and my greatest desire is to know and love and obey you, sothis desire is really for you. I take it from your competitor, I purge it, andI direct it to you. Thank you for freeing me from the bondage of sin." Itis remarkable what control we can gain over the direction our desires take, ifwe really long to please Christ.


【5】 pray that God would give you, inever-increasing strength, a longing to know and love and obey him above allelse.

I read a sermon once entitled, "The Expulsive Power of a NewAffection." The point was, there is no better way to overcome a bad desirethan to push it out with a new one. It is in prayer that we summon the divinehelp to produce in us that new desire for God.


【6】bathe your mind in God's Word.

Jesus prayed, "Sanctify them in the truth. Your word is truth" (John17:17). There is nothing that renews the mind and enables it to assess thingsGod's way like regular meditation on the Word of God. The person who does notarm himself with the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17) is going to lose inthe battle for his or her body.


【7】 keep yourself busy, and whenit is time for leisure, choose things that are pure, lovely, gracious,excellent, worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8).

Idleness in a world like ours isasking for trouble. It is much harder for sexual temptation to gain a footholdwhen we are busy at some productive task. And if you need some fresh air, walkin a park, not down Hennepin Avenue.


【8】 don't spend too much timealone.

Be with Christian people often. Don't forsake the assembling ofyourselves together, but encourage one another, stir each other up to love andgood works. Talk of your struggles with trusted friends. Pray for each otherand hold each other accountable.


【9】 strive to think of all people,especially people of the opposite sex, in relation to eternity.

It is not easyto fantasize about a person if you think about the eternal torment they mayshortly be suffering in hell because of their unbelief. 60 25920 60 15792 0 0 2344 0 0:00:11 0:00:06 0:00:05 3881Nor is it easy todisrobe in your imagination a person you know to be an eternal sister orbrother in Christ. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:16, "From now on we knowno one according to the flesh." We view everybody from God's eternalperspective.


【10】 resolve to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and he willadd to you everything you need sexually.

It may be a spouse. It may be thegrace and freedom to be single and pure and content. That is up to God. Ours isto seek the kingdom. Or to put it another way, our all-consuming passion mustbe to glorify God in our bodies by keeping ourselves free from everyenslavement but one: the joyful, fulfilling slavery to God.

作者简介


约翰•派博(John Piper),德国慕尼黑大学神学博士,曾执教于伯特利神学院,现为明尼亚波利斯市伯特利浸信会的主任牧师。


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